Being a mother is...

Being a mother is...

Incredibly challenging.
Life changing.
Tiring.
Exciting.
Surprising.
Hard work.
Entertaining.
Rewarding.
Did I say exhausting?
Fun and funny!
Exasperating.
Awesome!

But the thing that I get the most of out of being a mom is the chance to see myself in my children . This can be a good thing and a bad thing.

I'm a yeller so guess what? So are my children.
I'm a whiner so they whine.
I can act a martyr so they act like martyrs sometimes.
I am not the best housekeeper so their rooms are a constant battle.
I am not so disciplined so they balk at being disciplined.
I can be judgemental so I hear judgements come out of their mouths.

But...
I love to read and sometimes we have to tell them to stop reading.
I love animals and so do they.
I have compassion for animals and people and they are very giving and have tender hearts.
I volunteer and help out at church and they love to help also.
I love babies and so they are so sweet with younger kids.

Being a mom is a mixture of happiness and pain, giving and receiving, crying and laughing.
I wouldn't trade a minute of the journey and am looking forward to the adventure that will come in the future.

Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her-Proverbs 31:28

Train a child in a way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it-Proverbs 22:6

90 degrees on May 4th!

This is what you get for choosing to live in Texas! And don't get me wrong I love warm weather. I would much rather be warm than cold any day but it seems like we went from cold to hot in seconds flat. No Spring. We have 2 seasons here in Austin--Summer and Winter--nothing in between. I am complaining but not really. There is one problem though...

I live with a man who is always hot. No matter what he's hot. In the winter with the heat on he walks around in shorts and in the summer with the air conditioning on he walks around in his undershorts. Meanwhile I have a sweater and socks on over my regular outfit-heat on or air on. It's a battle.

It's beautiful and sunny. I love the sunshine. I love the day light from 6:30am until 8pm. I might as well go to sleep at 8pm because all I do is sit around when it's dark. I can't seem to do anything when it's dark.

So, you see, even though I talk about it being hot already, I still love Austin as much as I did the day I stepped foot off the plane in March of 1992. I definitely wouldn't live any place else in Texas and you be hard pressed to get me to live any where that there is not any less than 6 months of summer! So I'm going to get the sunscreen, some lemonade and a fan because I'm staying right here!

Where did the day go?

Here I am at the computer wondering "where did the time go?". I even got up early this morning to spend some time with the Lord before my day started and I thought that would make the day flow smoother and we would get everything done.

One thing lead to another and we have gotten a bunch of stuff done but it's never enough. We probably did more school than we usually do but Math took forever today! I think we could have done another subject had the math been a more manageable amount of time. I guess I learned that it's better to accompany them in doing their math rather than having them do it alone while I'm trying to do laundry!

It's days like these when I realize how much I have on my plate. I haven't really wasted any time today. You know-- I haven't played multiple games of scrabble on the computer, I haven't talked to anyone on the phone, I didn't lay in bed until 7am, I didn't go running around on errands. We did important things--school, chores, laundry, meals, showers & baths. I even cleaned a tub, a sink and a mirror plus cleaned up a small "accident". So in reality I did do a lot. It's all in how you look at it I guess.

Thanks for helping me get some perspective!

Today is the day the Lord has made: rejoice and be glad in it!-Psalm 118:24

20 Years!

Last week I celebrated my 20 year anniversary in AA! Wow! Even I am impressed.

It was kind of nerve wracking, though. I expect a lot out of myself because of that! I think I should be so much more serene than I am. All my defects of character should be under control by now. I think this might be the year I really have to work on accepting myself. Especially since both my sponsees are working on the same thing. God knows what he is doing. He put me with these women and these women with me so we can all work on it together.

Of course, I do realize that I did not string all these days together myself-God has done for me what I cannot do for myself. If I was in control, I'd probably be dead, gone crazy or be drinking again. God is so good. The only thing I did was I didn't pick up a drink. Really, because I didn't go to meetings regularly, I didn't have a sponsor all the time and I wasn't always rigorously honest or work the steps. So to God I have to give all the glory!

I am so grateful for my sobriety. I wouldn't have all the blessings I have if I wasn't sober. It's not easy all the time but a drink wouldn't help me at all. It might possibly feel good for a minute but the problems would all still be there tomorrow plus I would have to deal with the wreckage of that drink. So right now I am trying to live life on life's terms and to realize everyone has problems and the best way for me to deal with mine is straight on...AND SOBER!

Love this Song!!!

This is so beautiful!!!!

Hallelujah written by Leonard Cohen
Sung by various artists-here are a few of them.

Check this version out by Allison Crowe
http://music.allisoncrowe.com/track/hallelujah


Or watch k.d. Lang sing it on You Tube
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_NpxTWbovE


This is for my kids! Listen to Jason Castro's version!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=erjF2uxYcbo&feature=related



Words & Lyrics written by Leonard Cohen
"Hallelujah"

Now I've heard there was a secret chord
That David played, and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do you?
It goes like this
The fourth, the fifth
The minor fall, the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah

Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you
She tied you
To a kitchen chair
She broke your throne, and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah

Baby I have been here before
I know this room, I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew you.
I've seen your flag on the marble arch
Love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

There was a time you let me know
What's really going on below
But now you never show it to me, do you?
And remember when I moved in you
The holy dove was moving too
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

You say I took the name in vain
I don't even know the name
But if I did, well really, what's it to you?
There's a blaze of light
In every word
It doesn't matter which you heard
The holy or the broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

I did my best, it wasn't much
I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch
I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool you
And even though
It all went wrong
I'll stand before the Lord of Song
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah

Mama's doing something...

How many times have you heard yourself say that? Or something very similar. Daddy has to go to work, just a minute, give me a second, after this, in five minutes...It is a bummer but sometimes we can't stop what we're doing and our kids have to wait.

It's a tough call. I feel guilty sometimes-especially the times that I am not really doing anything important. But there are other times when I'm doing something I don't want to stop-like eating a warm meal (notice I didn't say hot!). And then there are actually times where I am doing something I can't stop-like going to the restroom! It seems like they always need you when you are busy.

There are also the even tougher times when you have to decide which child to take care of first. Like yesterday, when one child was closing the garage door with the back hatch of my car open and another child was crying because her brother slammed her finger in the door! Well, maybe that's slightly different... But you know what I mean. The hurt one had to wait for sympathy and loving while I rescued my car.

So, we just do our best. They will survive, right? I am just starting to read a book called "The Power of a Praying Parent" by Stormie Omartian. She suggests we pray for our kids-the concerns of the moment, for the future AND against the effects of past events. I like that. I think it's comforting to know that god can and will protect our children-even if it's protecting against our own actions.


Here's a Bible passage that might help.

O LORD, hear my prayer,
listen to my cry for mercy;
in your faithfulness and righteousness
come to my relief. Psalm 143:1

Here's another prayer that might help.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can
and the wisdom to know the difference.

Here's a song that might help.

Jesus loves the little children-all the children of the world...

The New Year

Happy New Year! It's 2010!

What a great time to think about the year ahead! What do you want to accomplish this year? What changes would you like to make in yourself? What would you like your life to look like? In what area of your life would you like to grow? It can be overwhelming. Don't get discouraged already!

I am not making any resolutions but I sure would like to make some changes. I am hoping I can take small steps, with God's help, of course, in becoming more of what Jesus wants me to be.

1. Love my neighbor as myself-so I want to love myself more so I can love my neighbor more
2. Forgive so that I may be forgiven-forgive myself so that I can forgive others more easily
3. Do God's will-when I do my will it RARELY works out
4. Be grateful-remember to thank God for all that I have
5. Accept help-ask for help and LET others help

And then there are the littler things...

1. Get organized! Here is where it gets overwhelming-papers, papers, papers...
2. Get healthy-exercise more and eat less sugar
3. Be a better housekeeper-need I say more?
4. Use my time more wisely-less video games, more action

I kind of don't like putting it all down because it looks a little daunting but if I remember I don't have to do it all right this second it's more manageable.

I wish you a happy, healthy, peaceful New Year. May you feel God's presence in all you do.