Did I Just Say That?
Have you ever found yourself thinking…I shouldn’t do this?
Or worse yet, I shouldn’t say this. And yet WE DO act or say the exact thing we
know we shouldn’t do!!! This happens to me on a regular basis. What should we
or could we do about this? Wow! Isn’t that the million dollar question!
So why do we, I should really speak for myself, I continue
to go through this? What makes me ignore the voice and take action in to my own
hands? Have I not learned from my mistakes in the past? How has this been
working for me?
Well, to be honest, whenever I don’t listen to that nudging
it usually ends poorly. In most cases, the other person gets mad or I feel
uncomfortable about what I said. And I regret having said it. And then quickly
after the regret comes guilt and shame.
And then I wonder why I didn’t listen or just pause or say something, anything, else.
Our pastor did a sermon a couple months ago on why is so
easy to do the wrong thing. For me, sometimes I just want to be bad. I just
WANT to say it, whatever it is. Why is that? Maybe for the adrenaline rush.
Maybe because I’m tired. Maybe I’m not in a good space at the moment. Maybe I
have a resentment festering.
It’s hard to be good sometimes. It’s hard to choose the
right path. It’s hard to listen to that small, still voice when the other
voices seem so loud. My ego gets involved and I start getting all full of
myself. I feel justified in saying what I said or acting the way I did. I am
right. I know better. I judge you and think you need to know how crazy I think
you’re being. When in reality, it is me who is the crazy one. Ugh.
What is the answer or answers? This involves a lot of
discussion. One thing that I think might help is practicing ignoring or saying
no to the voices. Maybe if I get into the habit of choosing the small, still
voice it will become stronger and louder. Or I will become stronger.
Another thing is ridding myself of resentment. If I keep my
side of the street clean then I won’t be so apt to lash out in anger…at the
wrong person! When I am full of unresolved anger, it has a tendency to spew out
at anyone who happens to wrong me. In reality even a little bit of anger can
cloud my judgment. It can color my thoughts. Anger, or even irritation, can
make me do things I wouldn’t normally do. Talk with a friend, admit your part
and apologize. Even if it seems like you have no part—you do, trust me.
Acceptance always seems to help in any situation. In an
excerpt from the book Alcoholics Anonymous, it says “…Acceptance is the answer
to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some
person, place, thing or situation… unacceptable to me, and I can find no
serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly
the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing
happens in this God’s world by mistake.” If I can accept what’s going on then I
don’t feel like I have to interfere.
One more thing that may be helpful is detaching from the
situation. For me that means stepping back and keeping out. Minding my own
business. Letting other people live their own lives. Staying inside my own hula
hoop. When I start thinking I know what’s best for someone else I am asking for
trouble. Especially if I give my opinion when they didn’t ask for it.
The biggest answer for me to this dilemma of saying or
acting inappropriately is to pause. Really just stop and ask myself, “Is this
any of my business? Do I need to get involved?” AND!!! To pray!!! That small
still voice IS God, you know. So if we heed it, we are listening and doing
God’s will. If I take the time to pray, then maybe I will come to realize that
God has it all covered anyway. He doesn’t need me to try to control things
(people mostly). He wants me to obey his promptings so that I can be the person
he intended me to be-loving, kind, patient. God loves you and wants what’s best
for you. According to Jeremiah 29:11, and I paraphrase; The Lord has plans for
you, plans to give you hope and a future; to prosper you and not to harm you.
Rest in this. God’s got it!
