Meditate for 20 minutes?

We were asked to read Psalm 46 and to meditate for 2o minutes. I was happy with this one because I knew it would be doable. The one glitch is that it was for Sunday morning. That could be tricky with trying to get to church on time.

My husband and I got up at 5:45am so that we might finish before a child woke up. My favorite part of the psalm and what seemed most appropriate to meditate on was "Be still and know that I am God". So that became my words to focus on and to come back to.

Of course I had the same experience I usually have--a million different thoughts in my head bombarding me and taking me away from my center. But I kept at it and right when the timer was about to go off, I heard my little boy's voice call out for me. At least he waited:)

It was a good day and I heard the verse over and over in my head throughout the day. I know that was part of the reason the day went so well. God's word as soon as you wake up and time in quiet stillness. Try it, you might like it.

Read & Pray to be Others Centered

Yesterday's assignment was to read some passages from Philippians and to pray to be others focused. Another one I thought I could handle. And I did--actually we did. Steve and I read the passages together and then prayed. Done!

Yes, it could be that quick but let's think about it just a little, in retrospect of course.

We read, we prayed, I went about my business. Was I thinking about being others focused all day? No, I wasn't. So I could get down on myself about that or I could look at my day and see how I reacted to others. I was actually a little more patient and didn't get judgemental like I usually do. I let people in front of me and didn't react when people jumped in front of me. You may not think that sounds like much but these are big issues I get all in a unchristian-like tizzy over.

But I didn't do it. God did it. He worked through me. He heard my prayer and helped me (in spite of me) in all these circumstances. I spent some time in His Word and praying to him--And HE answered. It is not in my human power to change myself; I need His help. Thank God I can ask and be heard.

I pray we all ask for God's help in our lives and for His will to be done.

What was the best part of your day so far?

Yesterday we were challenged to start conversations by saying, "What was the best part of your day so far?" How did you do? Were you able to change your routine? Was it uncomfortable to be so giving? What were the responses you got? I found it challenging!

While I was on the phone with the pediatricians office, I was thinking how am I going to fit this into the conversation? While I was on the phone with a solicitor, I found myself thinking when can I ask him this? At the grocery store, I forgot about it. I wrote some emails and asked the question but only at the end of the email. I did ask my children throughout the day. I asked my husband a couple of times. I did ask a child at ballet last night but it wasn't at the beginning of the conversation.

What was the outcome? My kids kept saying things like "being with you Mama". What does that say about our relationship? I am not sure. My husband had some nice, sweet answers (I don't want to embarrass him by saying what they were). The boy at ballet didn't even think about it. One person I emailed said it made them laugh in a sad way. So, varied but I think if I had really stretched and asked those people even though I didn't know how to ask I would have had even more varied, interesting and probably surprising responses.

So, what did I learn? Well, it seems like I keep learning the same thing? I don't like stepping out of my little comfort zone. I don't want to appear silly. I don't want to be uncomfortable. I am afraid. Really. I am afraid of looking dumb (or silly or crazy or weird-take your pick).

But maybe, it's more than that. Maybe it's a fear of people. It's a fear of knowing people. A fear of getting to know people. Getting close to people. Then being hurt by people or feeling feelings I don't want to feel. Maybe it's a fear of feelings. Or maybe it's a fear of people getting to know me!! I don't even want to talk about it. I get to this part of the conversation and I'm done. So I know I am getting close. Maybe as we continue this journey I will become more willing to go to the next level.

Because maybe as some of you know, the thing we fear the most is the thing we want the most! The relationships and closeness I fear is probably the the things I desire the most.

Wow! Way too much information! Go talk to others and enjoy them!

No Texting, please...

Another day on the Lenten calendar and another task to try out. My community group at church has started on a 40 day journey of sacrifice and of dying to the self(ego). We are doing this to honor the sacrifice Jesus made for us. Usually you hear of people giving up one thing for for the whole 40 days but we are giving up one thing a day. And it's not really giving something up it's actually doing something different-something to help us change so we can become more like the person God intended us to be.

So, yesterday's challenge was to not text and to use the phone instead. I am proud to say I didn't text even one person! It was so easy! Okay, all of you who know me can quit laughing now:) They all know that I don't text anyway. I have a phone that is pretty old and has 3 letters per number key so it takes me a half an hour to just type "I don't text"--the apostrophe takes me a good ten minutes alone. I was so excited when I saw this on the calendar; I knew I could at least accomplish this one.

But here's the thing, I don't think it was only about not texting. I think it was about putting a halt on the impersonal, technological way our society has become. I think the real meaning was in the calling part. The point I took away from this task was that we are called to be in community and to be in relationship. And nothing encourages closeness than one on one interaction. We can have a psuedo relationship with anyone through texting or emailing or facebooking but a true, intimate, god breathed relationship can only be nurtured through face to face contact.

If you missed this opportunity yesterday, try it today--I dare you! Call one person or make a date to meet someone for coffee or take a few minutes with your spouse to talk. I am challenging myself to do this not only today but everyday.

The Encounter by Stephen Arterburn

In “The Encounter” by Stephen Arterburn, the main character, Jonathan Rush, travels to Alaska in search of information on his mother who abandoned him when he was young. The story takes our reluctant explorer on a trip with many unexpected turns and twists while he also takes a journey in his heart.

I like to read books that keep my interest and that also inspire me. I found this book to be quite entertaining. I could also relate to the main character in many ways. It’s the kind of book that I really enjoy. Jonathan Rush wants to find out about his past but is afraid and a little apprehensive. He knows that what he finds out will most likely change his life but he’s not really sure he wants to change.

Jonathan meets a reporter who wants to interview him but she turns out to be someone who can help him. Erica with her investigative skills helps Jonathan in finding information about his past. They work together to uncover the truth and in the mean time draw closer together.

I liked this book although it was almost too easy. I didn’t feel the depth of emotions that help me to become more personally invested. The idea of forgiveness that is carried throughout the book does appeal to me and I would love to experience that in all my relationships. Overall, I found “The Encounter” to be a book that I am glad that I read and pass along to others.

Lent started yesterday...

Yesterday was Wednesday, February 22nd and the beginning of Lent. You may say, but you are not Catholic...what does is it matter to you? Well, here it is--I am trying to be a part of my community at church and to take part in a Lenten challenge. Each day throughout the 40 days we have been asked to give up something different every day. It's not really giving up something each day but doing something different--something to make us get out of our box, I think. It's a way of dying to self. Doing and being something different.

So for the next 40 days, I have committed to blogging my reflections on the previous days directive. This in itself is a way for me me to do something different because I have a hard time staying committed to writing--discipline is also not my strong suit:)

So, yesterday's "assignment" was to participate in Ash Wednesday by getting ashes put on our forehead. Let me say right away that I did not do it. You may wonder what I might have to say since I didn't complete the task but actually I have been thinking about it a lot and have some observations.

1. I was uncomfortable going to a different church-ego

2. I didn't want to drag my children with me-excuse, my oldest could have watched them.

3. I wondered about how the Catholics would feel about a non catholic taking in part--just looked it up and it is not a sacrament so anyone is welcome--ego

4. It was inconvenient-excuse, again

5. This is the biggest and saddest of all--I would have been embarrassed having people look at me--EGO!!! And might I say, Satan.

What I realized and let take hold of me causing me not to take part in the very first day of our challenge is I am very prideful. This would have been a perfect opportunity to have part of my ego(self) die. I allowed Satan to talk me out of something that would have allowed him LESS of a hold on my life. One of my biggest obstacles, character defects, if you will, is being egotistical. I am way too much the center of my own life. And I think you think about me a bunch too.

Here's the thing--I am not the center of the universe. Other people barely notice me. Isn't Jesus much more important than what other people would think of me if I had ashes on my forehead? What a witness I could have been for the Christian faith! What an example I could have been for others feeling the same way I was!

So here I sit committed to following the rest of the directives in order to die to self and live for Christ. God sacrificed His Son for me and in return I want to sacrifice my ego and self to Him. I am excited! Stay tuned to see what happens!