20 Years!

Last week I celebrated my 20 year anniversary in AA! Wow! Even I am impressed.

It was kind of nerve wracking, though. I expect a lot out of myself because of that! I think I should be so much more serene than I am. All my defects of character should be under control by now. I think this might be the year I really have to work on accepting myself. Especially since both my sponsees are working on the same thing. God knows what he is doing. He put me with these women and these women with me so we can all work on it together.

Of course, I do realize that I did not string all these days together myself-God has done for me what I cannot do for myself. If I was in control, I'd probably be dead, gone crazy or be drinking again. God is so good. The only thing I did was I didn't pick up a drink. Really, because I didn't go to meetings regularly, I didn't have a sponsor all the time and I wasn't always rigorously honest or work the steps. So to God I have to give all the glory!

I am so grateful for my sobriety. I wouldn't have all the blessings I have if I wasn't sober. It's not easy all the time but a drink wouldn't help me at all. It might possibly feel good for a minute but the problems would all still be there tomorrow plus I would have to deal with the wreckage of that drink. So right now I am trying to live life on life's terms and to realize everyone has problems and the best way for me to deal with mine is straight on...AND SOBER!