FOOD!

So, for the last 5 months my family and I have been on an adventure regarding the food we eat. Inspired by the desire to help our kids, we embarked on a journey hoping to get some answers to some nagging questions.

We started by eliminating possible allergens.
      No:   sugar, eggs, dairy, wheat (gluten), soy, citrus, apples, peanuts (a few of us went off all nuts), chocolate, tomatoes, corn, legumes (we did eat green beans), yeast, gums, all foods ending in "ite" and "ate"
             
You might ask, "What did you eat?". Well, a lot of rice, potatoes, oats, fruit and vegetables. Our regular lunch was sunflower seed butter and rice cakes!  It was quite difficult--just ask the kids!  You would be amazed (I know I was) at what is in the food we eat and the supposedly healthy food we eat. Sugar is salad dressing, lunch meat, bread, bacon, etc. And soy, wow!  Soy is in cereal, rice mixes, marinades, granola bars and of course, Asian food! The first month we never ate out.

I was THRILLED! This was supposed to be about the kids but I was OVERJOYED!  I have never felt better! Or at least for a very long time.  And originally I was quite nervous.  You see, I was diagnosed almost 25 years ago as having Irritable Bowel Syndrome.  I battled with horribly painful spasms in my stomach and serious issues with bowels. If I ate a salad like a chef's salad, I would be in the bathroom before we finished doing the dishes. If I ate something like chili, same thing.

But by eliminating all the possible allergens I was not having any cramping or spasms or pain.  I was actually having regular bowel movements--I know TMI! But it was true. More honesty here--I had been praying to God about my stomach issues and been telling him that I would be happy if only I would have daily bowel movements.  That is how desperate I was.

The next step was to tryout, one at a time, the foods we had eliminated. A difficult process because you try it one day and then wait 3 more days to see how it interacts with your system. With some items I knew within a half an hour. With others it took several hours up to days. My oldest has had the hardest time of the kids--no more dairy, egg, almonds, or peanuts for her. The middle child keeps denying any problems. My son has no issues (just like his dad) except what we already knew-he gets eczema from eating too much soy products. I still have many foods to try.  I don't want to mess with a good thing. I have not been feeling as great these days. It's hard to eat limited foods for 5 months.  BUT, I would not trade this for the world.  My quality of life is so much better.  And all because I became willing to do something different.

Thank you God for willingness.  Thank you God for the mercy. Thank you God for the awareness.

Gratitude. I have been told many times by my sponsor in AA to make a gratitude list.  Sometimes I follow direction and do it; other times I don't but that's another blog post;)

I believe there have been many reasons I have been asked to do a gratitude list. One is to get me back into the present moment--back to reality. Another is to help me to see that what I do have is more than enough especially when I am feeling self pity. Maybe another reason is to see that God is taking care of me, always has and always will.  In any case, an "attitude of gratitude" is a great tool in to use for any type of recovery.

Sometimes a sponsee will say to me, I don't feel very grateful.  Well, at this stage I will suggest that they "fake it til they make it" meaning just do it anyway! There are always things to be grateful for. People to be grateful for. Even if it's just a few.  At some point I was told to list 10 items and I know that at times in my recovery I had a hard time coming up with that many. Self pity has been a character defect that I have battled with for a long time and I think for me that has been why I have had a hard time making gratitude lists.

So here is my basic gratitude list.
I am grateful for:   a cool (or warm or dry) house to live in
                            a working, safe car to drive
                            my husband
                            my children
                            my mother
                            my husband's parents
                            my God
                            my church
                            my church friends
                            AA
                            my AA friends
                           
Look at that!  11!
Old gratitude lists included:
                           this day
                           my cats
                           the sunshine
                           warm weather
                           my health
                           the kids taking naps
                           quiet time

You get the idea. Take some of mine. Write anything but do it.  Make a start. It will help. Fake it. Fake it until you actually start to feel grateful. Plus if you keep your lists, it's a great way to track your recovery.

Philippians 4:6

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Psalm 69:30

I will praise God’s name in song and glorify him with thanksgiving.

Oh my gosh!  It's been almost a year and a half since I posted anything.  I have let my fears get the best of me.  I had a friend call me just yesterday and tell me a bout something she had just read.  It was about fear.  It said something like that if fear knocked at the door and faith answered that fear had no way of entering. I need to have faith that if God is leading me to do this and because of that "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" Philippians 4:13.

So I want to write but to tell the truth I get a little overwhelmed with the details especially how often to write. I want to be consistent but I also want (have) to have a balance.  I have kids at home to teach, a house to run, errands to do, volunteering commitments to follow through on and kids to transport.  I feel like I should blog every day (for some reason) and when I don't I get discouraged. It's a dilemma.

Plus I am in a debate with myself about even publishing this because I haven't written in so long.  I feel shame, guilt, pressure, stress and fear.  I want to be responsible and write regularly but God knows I am not disciplined so he's going to have to discipline me--be careful what I ask for, huh?!  But am I going to let fear rule my life? You know what fear stands for, don't you?  False Evidence Appearing Real. Forget Everything And Run. Or am I going to Face Everything (fear) And Recover?

I can ask God to remove my fear and turn my attention elsewhere.  I can ask God to remove my fear and help someone else.  I can give God my fear because he tells me not to fear. "Fear not for I shall redeem you. I have summoned you by name; you are mine." Isaiah 43:1.  "Do not be afraid." Luke 2:10.

Fear.

What will your choice be?