Did I Just Say That?

Have you ever found yourself thinking…I shouldn’t do this? Or worse yet, I shouldn’t say this. And yet WE DO act or say the exact thing we know we shouldn’t do!!! This happens to me on a regular basis. What should we or could we do about this? Wow! Isn’t that the million dollar question!

So why do we, I should really speak for myself, I continue to go through this? What makes me ignore the voice and take action in to my own hands? Have I not learned from my mistakes in the past? How has this been working for me?

Well, to be honest, whenever I don’t listen to that nudging it usually ends poorly. In most cases, the other person gets mad or I feel uncomfortable about what I said. And I regret having said it. And then quickly after the regret comes guilt and shame.  And then I wonder why I didn’t listen or just pause or say something, anything, else.

Our pastor did a sermon a couple months ago on why is so easy to do the wrong thing. For me, sometimes I just want to be bad. I just WANT to say it, whatever it is. Why is that? Maybe for the adrenaline rush. Maybe because I’m tired. Maybe I’m not in a good space at the moment. Maybe I have a resentment festering.

It’s hard to be good sometimes. It’s hard to choose the right path. It’s hard to listen to that small, still voice when the other voices seem so loud. My ego gets involved and I start getting all full of myself. I feel justified in saying what I said or acting the way I did. I am right. I know better. I judge you and think you need to know how crazy I think you’re being. When in reality, it is me who is the crazy one. Ugh.

What is the answer or answers? This involves a lot of discussion. One thing that I think might help is practicing ignoring or saying no to the voices. Maybe if I get into the habit of choosing the small, still voice it will become stronger and louder. Or I will become stronger.

Another thing is ridding myself of resentment. If I keep my side of the street clean then I won’t be so apt to lash out in anger…at the wrong person! When I am full of unresolved anger, it has a tendency to spew out at anyone who happens to wrong me. In reality even a little bit of anger can cloud my judgment. It can color my thoughts. Anger, or even irritation, can make me do things I wouldn’t normally do. Talk with a friend, admit your part and apologize. Even if it seems like you have no part—you do, trust me.

Acceptance always seems to help in any situation. In an excerpt from the book Alcoholics Anonymous, it says “…Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation… unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in this God’s world by mistake.” If I can accept what’s going on then I don’t feel like I have to interfere.

One more thing that may be helpful is detaching from the situation. For me that means stepping back and keeping out. Minding my own business. Letting other people live their own lives. Staying inside my own hula hoop. When I start thinking I know what’s best for someone else I am asking for trouble. Especially if I give my opinion when they didn’t ask for it.

The biggest answer for me to this dilemma of saying or acting inappropriately is to pause. Really just stop and ask myself, “Is this any of my business? Do I need to get involved?” AND!!! To pray!!! That small still voice IS God, you know. So if we heed it, we are listening and doing God’s will. If I take the time to pray, then maybe I will come to realize that God has it all covered anyway. He doesn’t need me to try to control things (people mostly). He wants me to obey his promptings so that I can be the person he intended me to be-loving, kind, patient. God loves you and wants what’s best for you. According to Jeremiah 29:11, and I paraphrase; The Lord has plans for you, plans to give you hope and a future; to prosper you and not to harm you. Rest in this. God’s got it!