God’s Will Not Mine

This summer I had plans. I had plans for how things would go, what we would do and what it would look like. My plans. I can say this in retrospect. I can see how they were my plans and not necessarily God’s plans. I formed my plans out of the goodness of my heart but they were still my plans. This is an account of what it was like, what happened and what it is like now.

Two of my children are ballet dancers and in the ballet world dancers are expected to attend a summer intensive every year. This shows you are serious about your dancing. These intensives give the dancers a chance to study somewhere other than their home studio. They learn different dance styles and get to hang out all day with other like minded people. The dancers audition for these intensives in January and commit by March. My children both auditioned for the Ballet Chicago program and got accepted. God provided (through Ballet Chicago’s generosity) a scholarship for both to attend at a discounted rate. God also provided (through a friend of a friend) a place for us to stay in Chicago for free! In the meantime my oldest decided she wanted to go visit relatives in upstate New York. So we got her a ticket to travel from Chicago. My plans were coming along. God had opened doors.

So the kids and I packed up my in-laws vehicle and made the 19 hour trek to Chicago. We were excited to see the skyline as we drove in bumper to bumper traffic. We arrived at the place we were staying. After unloading and grabbing a bite to eat we returned to our place. It was then that it all sunk in and we realized we could not stay there. We would not be able to live comfortably there for 6 weeks. I could go into details but it’s not necessary. For the good of the 4 of us it wasn’t going to work. At that point, my plans started to unravel.

God then provided (through the generosity of a friend) 2 nights in a hotel. God worked it so that unbeknownst to me that it was about 3 blocks away from the ballet studio.  The kids and I discussed our predicament. We decided we would just do the next right thing. God provided that our hotel was in the heart of the theater district so we enjoyed the day walking around the city. I had done what I could with emails and phone calls. My husband was working on finding us a place to stay through the internet. We just had to wait on the Lord’s prompting.

And then an answer to prayer came. A friend had found out about our situation through another friend. She had a friend that lived in a suburb of Chicago that we could stay with for 5 nights. God provided again!! We were able to stay for a week of the program at least. Our host was amazing! We were blessed by her generosity. This obviously was not my plan. My plan was shattered in many pieces like the many tears that had been shed. But God is faithful.

So the kids started the program.  My 17 year old and I shopped, washed clothes, and visited colleges while still searching for a place but reality sunk in that we couldn’t afford to stay. But God wasn’t finished revealing His big plan for us. God provided (again through the generosity of Ballet Chicago) for Claire to stay in the dorm for a nominal fee. God provided (through the generosity of Grandpa and Grandma) the finances for us to pay for her to stay. So our oldest went on to the relatives a little early, our middle child stayed in Chicago and my youngest and I returned home.

God worked it all out. God provided (through others in many cases) for all of us. I realized during this process that my fears which caused me to make these plans-my plans-were not God’s plan. God’s plan was for Claire to go to Ballet Chicago but not for me or for Henry to stay in Chicago. She wanted to be in the dorms but I was too afraid and my ego was too involved. But I also realized that in order for all of this to work out we had to go through all of it. Claire is happy to have this experience. Henry is happy to be at our home studio but grateful for the week at Ballet Chicago.  I am overwhelmed with gratitude to all of these people God used to provide for us. God is good…all the time!

Jeremiah 29:11 New International Version (NIV)

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Romans 8:28 New International Version (NIV)

²⁸ And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who^[a] have been called according to his purpose.