What was the best part of your day so far?

Yesterday we were challenged to start conversations by saying, "What was the best part of your day so far?" How did you do? Were you able to change your routine? Was it uncomfortable to be so giving? What were the responses you got? I found it challenging!

While I was on the phone with the pediatricians office, I was thinking how am I going to fit this into the conversation? While I was on the phone with a solicitor, I found myself thinking when can I ask him this? At the grocery store, I forgot about it. I wrote some emails and asked the question but only at the end of the email. I did ask my children throughout the day. I asked my husband a couple of times. I did ask a child at ballet last night but it wasn't at the beginning of the conversation.

What was the outcome? My kids kept saying things like "being with you Mama". What does that say about our relationship? I am not sure. My husband had some nice, sweet answers (I don't want to embarrass him by saying what they were). The boy at ballet didn't even think about it. One person I emailed said it made them laugh in a sad way. So, varied but I think if I had really stretched and asked those people even though I didn't know how to ask I would have had even more varied, interesting and probably surprising responses.

So, what did I learn? Well, it seems like I keep learning the same thing? I don't like stepping out of my little comfort zone. I don't want to appear silly. I don't want to be uncomfortable. I am afraid. Really. I am afraid of looking dumb (or silly or crazy or weird-take your pick).

But maybe, it's more than that. Maybe it's a fear of people. It's a fear of knowing people. A fear of getting to know people. Getting close to people. Then being hurt by people or feeling feelings I don't want to feel. Maybe it's a fear of feelings. Or maybe it's a fear of people getting to know me!! I don't even want to talk about it. I get to this part of the conversation and I'm done. So I know I am getting close. Maybe as we continue this journey I will become more willing to go to the next level.

Because maybe as some of you know, the thing we fear the most is the thing we want the most! The relationships and closeness I fear is probably the the things I desire the most.

Wow! Way too much information! Go talk to others and enjoy them!